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Teens & Young Adults
A parent asks

My older teenager is in a relationship with a non-Muslim and talks about marriage. What do I do?

Bloomtivo answers

Stay in the conversation; cutting them off pushes them closer to the relationship and away from you. Explain the rulings clearly: a Muslim woman may not marry a non-Muslim man (Quran 60:10), and a Muslim man may marry a chaste Christian or Jewish woman (Quran 5:5), though many scholars advise against it today. Involve a trusted scholar, and talk honestly about faith, children and family life.

Reviewed by Shaimaa Wagdy, Bloomtivo teacher · Updated

The full answer

For young adults in the UK, meeting non-Muslims at college, university or work is normal, and relationships happen. How parents respond shapes what happens next.

First, don’t do these

  • Threaten to disown them.
  • Force a quick marriage to someone else (forced marriage is a crime in the UK).
  • Insult the partner.

The Islamic rulings, simply

SituationRuling
Muslim woman and non-Muslim manNot permitted (Quran 60:10; 2:221)
Muslim man and chaste Christian or Jewish womanPermitted in principle (Quran 5:5), but many scholars discourage it today, especially in non-Muslim countries
Muslim and a person of another or no religionNot permitted
Dating before marriageNot permitted, whoever the partner is

For details about their situation, involve a trusted local scholar.

Questions to talk through together

  • How would you raise your children? Which faith?
  • Would your partner be comfortable with prayer, fasting and halal food at home?
  • Has your partner shown interest in Islam, sincerely and for their own sake?

If the partner becomes interested in Islam

Encourage them to learn properly, with time and without pressure. A conversion only for marriage is not real; sincere interest is welcome.

Keep the relationship with your child

Whatever happens, your child needs to know they can come home and talk to you.

Teacher’s tip: young people who have their own understanding of Islam, not just family rules, make wiser choices about marriage. It is never too late to learn together.

Related: My 19-year-old wants to get married and boyfriend or girlfriend.

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