Every child gets angry. Islam does not say “never feel angry”; it gives practical steps to stop anger turning into hurtful words or actions.
The three steps
- Seek refuge: say أَعُوذُ بِاللّٰهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ. The Prophet ﷺ said that if an angry man said this, his anger would go (Sahih al-Bukhari 3282).
- Stay quiet: stop talking for a moment. Words said in anger are hard to take back.
- Change position: the Prophet ﷺ said that if you are angry while standing, sit down; if the anger does not go, lie down (Sunan Abi Dawud 4782).
Make it child-friendly
Turn it into a simple rhyme: “Say a‘udhu, lips closed tight, sit down low, it’ll be all right.”
Practise when calm
- Role-play: “Your brother took your toy. What do we do?”
- Put a picture card of the three steps on the fridge.
- Praise them warmly when they use the steps, even partly.
Model it yourself
When you feel angry, say a‘udhu out loud and sit down. Children learn from watching you calm down far more than from instructions.
Talk afterwards
Once calm, ask, “What made you angry? What could you do next time?” The Prophet ﷺ advised a man, “Do not become angry,” repeating it several times (Sahih al-Bukhari 6116).
Teacher’s tip: give your child a “calm corner” cushion. Sitting on it is step three made easy.
Our Islamic Manners programme covers character like this.
