A quick, mumbled “sorry” is how many children escape trouble. A real apology is a skill, and Islam gives it deep meaning.
The three-part apology
| Part | Example |
|---|---|
| 1. Name it | “I’m sorry I broke your Lego tower.” |
| 2. Next time | “Next time I’ll ask before touching it.” |
| 3. Fix it | “Can I help you build it again?” |
Timing
- Let both children calm down first.
- Then ask: “What happened? How do you think your sister feels?”
- Then the apology.
The Islamic connection
- Tawbah: admitting a mistake to Allah, stopping, and resolving not to return. An apology to people works the same way.
- Putting things right: if we wrong someone, we should make it right with them, not only ask Allah’s forgiveness.
- Forgiving: teach the other child to accept: whoever forgives and makes peace, their reward is with Allah (Quran 42:40).
Model it
Apologise to your children when you get it wrong, using the same three parts: “I’m sorry I shouted. Next time I’ll take a breath first.” Nothing teaches it better.
Teacher’s tip: write the three parts on a small card on the fridge. After a few weeks, children start using it without being asked.
Related: Breaking promises.
