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Faith & Daily Life
A parent asks

My child holds grudges. How do I teach forgiveness the Islamic way?

Bloomtivo answers

Teach that forgiving is strength and brings Allah’s forgiveness: “Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like Allah to forgive you?” (Quran 24:22). Use three steps: name the hurt, talk about it calmly, then choose to let it go. Share the stories of Yusuf forgiving his brothers and the Prophet ﷺ forgiving the people of Makkah. Forgiving doesn’t mean accepting harm, so keep children safe.

Reviewed by Mohamed Eid, Bloomtivo teacher · Updated

The full answer

Children feel hurt strongly and can hold on to it for days. Forgiveness can be learnt.

What Islam teaches

  • “Let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like Allah to forgive you?” (Quran 24:22).
  • “Whoever pardons and makes peace, his reward is with Allah” (Quran 42:40).

Stories of forgiveness

StoryLesson
Yusuf forgave the brothers who threw him in a well: “No blame on you today” (12:92)Even big hurts can be forgiven
The Prophet ﷺ forgave the people of Makkah who had persecuted him, when he returned in victoryForgiveness is strength, not weakness

Three steps for children

  1. Name it: “I felt hurt when she took my toy.”
  2. Talk: say it calmly to the person, or to you.
  3. Let go: “I forgive you,” and make dua for them.

Forgiving is not accepting harm

If someone keeps hurting your child (bullying, unsafe behaviour), forgiving doesn’t mean staying silent. Tell your child: “You can forgive, and still tell a grown-up and stay safe.”

Model it

Let your children see you forgive, and say it aloud: “I was upset with Uncle, but I’ve forgiven him.”

Teacher’s tip: at bedtime, ask: “Is there anyone you need to forgive today?” Going to sleep with a clean heart is a beautiful habit.

Related: Apologising properly and Prophet Yusuf.

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