Modesty (haya) is part of faith, and teaching privacy also keeps children safe. Start early, keep it simple and calm.
The Quran’s guidance on permission
Allah tells children to ask permission before entering at three times: before Fajr, at midday rest, and after Isha (Quran 24:58). Once they reach puberty, they should always ask (24:59).
Habits by age
| Age | Habit |
|---|---|
| 3–5 | Knocking on doors; correct names for body parts; “private parts are private” |
| 6–7 | Changing clothes privately; bathroom door closed |
| 7–10 | Separate beds for brothers and sisters; modest clothing at home with guests |
| 10+ | Prepare for puberty: what happens, ghusl, modesty |
The safety rules
- Private parts are covered by underwear.
- No one should touch them or ask to see them, except a parent or doctor helping, with a parent there.
- No secrets that make you feel worried: always tell Mummy or Daddy.
The NSPCC’s “PANTS” rule is a simple way to teach this, and fits well with Islamic modesty.
How to say it
“Allah made our bodies and wants us to look after them and keep them private. That’s called haya, and it’s part of being a good Muslim.”
Model it
Knock on your children’s doors too. Children respect privacy when it is respected for them.
Teacher’s tip: keep these talks short and frequent, a minute here and there, rather than one big serious conversation. Calm repetition makes children comfortable coming to you.
Related: Respect for parents.
